Support the 1%

God's favorite child.

The Best American

Support The 1%.

There’s a minority in America. A threatened minority. And they may just be the most important minority of all.

That minority is of course, The 1%. Those noble Americans who have struggled day and night to hoard their God-given blessings of wealth. They truly deserve all that they have.

The top 1% of us now own 50% of the world’s wealth. But we still lack basic necessities. Many are unable to find parking to accommodate their yachts. Others are discriminated against when buying shuttle fare to the International Space Station. Saddest of all, some can’t even find food, and will be forced to have barbeques without white rhino meat.

For us Real Americans, we know all wealth belongs to the 1%. We can each do our part. Watching cable news, buying new phones, and voting Republican will make this a better world for 1% of us to live in. Together we can achieve this dream.

Please donate today.

Remember, all donations were going to have been stolen from you eventually anyway. Help the 1% get theirs sooner. Give generously.

Thank you.